Where in the World is Matt Lauer?

Today Show was in my buddy's country.

Gray's Anatomy

Sunday night I pulled out Gray's Anatomy to self-diagnose my pain in the chest. I basically looked at the "pictures"; figures # 486 and 488 and realized I had no idea what could be wrong so I scheduled another freakin' appointment on Monday, 4/21.

I did go to the doctors LAST Monday and left without requesting x-rays for the chest as my knee and leg were the distractions. So of course, I go about life by jumping on the bike the next day (4/15) for an easy ride. I barely made it to work as I fought to average 12 mph. Again, the knee was the main issue (waaa!). I noticed weirdness with my breathing and my insides only after Wednesday Worlds and again after training camp. I did mentioned to Brad that when I rode for the first time since the crash, when I had my hands on the hoods, I noticed soreness under my armpit; near my right boob. What do I do, nothing but ride for a week.

Monday, 4/21: The nurse laughed as I told her my Gray's Anatomy story brought me back for another appointment. My family doctor listened to my whoas about "feeling my insides moving around when I bent over" and the weird issues with breathing. She listened to my lungs, felt the insides moving (yea! I am not crazy) then she stuck her hand under my right side ribs. Hey! No. That did not hurt when she jabbed under the left ribs.

Ultrasound and x-rays scheduled for Tuesday. No riding for two days because I was a wimp. Rode to Wednesday Worlds and my girlfriend had to wait for me because I was stiff and winded. (waaa! really, I know.) I hoped to hear from my doctor yesterday.

I got the call at dinner tonight. Fractured anterior-lateral 6th right rib. Right where I said it hurt. My teammates thought I was masturbating my right boob but I was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong. Thank goodness my doctor called so I can now worry about racing tomorrow (insert sarcasm). "You know what to do; just no contact sports." Right, bike racing isn't a contact sport until someone over laps wheels or checks you off the road trying to avoid potholes/gravel, etc. What did I post earlier; "Nothing broken, thank goodness." F#*%)^ers!

My Coke Rewards (Suck!)

They are going to crack me. We have more soda than beer in the beer fridge. I don't when I started tracking these damn codes. I think all I can get for my points are NASCAR stuff. It reminds of when I collected the Bazooka Bubble Gum wrappers to order trinkets.

We don't even drink sodas, either. At least we are stocked for the annual neighborhood bike race, hot dog and burgers beer bash - ah, soda bash.

Adventures of Training Camp

HPC had their elite training camp at Raw Talent Ranch this past weekend. Kristy and I discovered we both lack spatial intelligence but it did not become evident until we ventured only where "the crows fly" as Jay Moglia put it, which was about three hours into our drive. We should have known immediately when we left Kristy's as we missed our exit and drove through the heart of inner city Baltimore. The initial excuse - catching up on life and not paying attention.

The Lost River Barn is at the top of a ten mile climb so when we made our turn onto the climb, we were a bit puzzled because no one told us about the climb being a dirt road. We made comments such as; "Alright, this switchback isn't too bad. The grade is doable. Holy crap! This can't be right?! I'm not riding up this every day. Is this right? What roadie would be riding up this climb on a road bike?!" It was one of those - "you had to be there" experiences. We laughed so hard we cried and pee-ed our pants. I kept looking at my cell phone as it read no service and Kristy yelled at me to keep my eyes on the road. A mile from the top, I had bars. Kristy pulled up numbers for Jay and I got through. He couldn't figure out our location through our laughter. I told him we followed the directions from Google maps. Jay said - "My website had directions." Pause and belly laughter again. I had those directions - they were behind the Google map directions. Whoa, way off path. Jay figured out where we were and told us to continue up and over the mountain.

The phone call and pee break.
The towers that probably helped me get cell reception and helped Jay figure out where we were.
Up Shenandoah County and down Hardy County.






The drive "where the crows fly" trashed our bikes with about an inch of dirt.

Smack Down in Mount Joy with Butterflies

Thank goodness I rode to the race as I was not going to get in my 3 hour ride afterwards as I decided to go flying off into the woods on the last lap, in the final 2k of the 23 mile "road race". There were some yelling and I think some bumping and before I knew it, the rider on my right rammed into me like a bowling ball making a strike, and I popped into the air as pins fly, tucked my head before I smacked down like WWE.

Nothing broken, thank goodness, as I catapulted off my bike into I think was an area of wood shavings - right before the huge two foot wide tree that had been cut down. I had the wind knocked out of me including a few choice words; "F**k, F, F, ..." Nobody around except for a little brown snake warming himself next to the little sapling I squeezed for dear life when I tried to assess my bodily damage.

My team director from last year was great as he jumped out of - I don't know what follow vehicle to look after me until the ambulance came.

My assessment of bodily damage: banged up pretty good all over, forest/woods rash as I didn't hit the road, left knee - smack on the cap - had a sharp pain.

We sports fans all know how crazy athletes can be... I carefully sat up; stood up and asked for the bike. Whoever was there with me all said stay put, yada-yada-yada but I wanted to continue my bodily assessment. Shawn righted the handlebars and slowly - off I went. O yea, the right hip-swollen; the left knee-ouch, still feeling a bit off on my breathing but I could hold on and pedal. My teammates were sweethearts and came back and rode me to the finish.

The young EMTs in the ambulance took a little drive for nothing - sort of. So I waited about 15 minutes for them to get back to the start/finish to clean me up and give me their assessment. They told me I was their first bike race crash victim.

I was then squeezed and handled with great care. Of course, I want to ride so I have opted out of the idea of stitches for the little laceration on the knee. Sure, I would say a little fat was showing and its a good cut, but I am hoping the butterflies do the job. Now I need to replenish the first aid kit with the necessities. Maybe some dudes I know should carry a first aid kit with them when they ride. Period.After Trdina's slice above from mountain biking, My cut is NOTHING. And I was trying to figure out when I could ride?! Damn. He was riding the road bike (easy) in three days. Hmm. Mini-me cut and the hematoma, ouch.

"Forest rash". Silly self portrait (probably good being blurry) as I was able to get a flattering shot of the "lack of booty (butt)" and all the high intensity racing and training hasn't made much of a dent in the loss of belly fat so I had to crop out my belly.
Thank goodness it is my favorite weekend for sport. We watched some awesome golf and I cannot wait until Sunday. It will be blustery. I have faith in Tiger. If anyone can come from behind, it's my man Tiger Woods. Then it is Paris-Roubaix. In 2001 when OLN aired the Classic races live, I sat for three hours watching my favorite version of PR. 1994 is another great race with Tchmil's win.

All You Need Is Love

If I can remember, last Saturday was a cool weather day where if you would lie on the road, you would be all toasty. The Appalachian cyclist was a little in the hole with her training, she would have laid on the road if it was snowy. So I convinced my teammates to come and give her some lovin'.

Meeoow! I did not know it would be that kind of lovin'.

And look at them wheels.

Post Race Weekend

Tired and lazy to post my story so here are two versions: My Awesome Teammate Anna and Chris Kelley, a great friend and teammate that presents the colorful version of our weekend. I would have been a bit whiny anyways - so out of shape - to say the least.

Bag Lady

I love bags. I even have a bag for a six pack of Belgian beer or wine! One would think with all the bags I have, I would not forget a thing. Sometimes it is the opposite. I am going to have to work on that bike racing-packing list.